January 4th, 2009
|06:07 pm - wake up to find out that you are the eyes|
Okay, I did it. I successfully had a lucid dream! It only lasted for about five minutes and it was kinda creepy but all the techniques from the book totally worked. I will distill them for you. Here is what I did.
(The book, by the way, is Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming. The words on the back that made me pick it up were "establishing a scientifically researched framework for using lucid dreaming. Based on Dr. Stephen LaBerge's extensive laboratory work at Stanford University..." Hell yeah. It is another way of saying "this is not a bunch of hippie crap people this guy is a FRIKKIN PEE AITCH DEE". I mean, I do enjoy hippie crap but it usually starts more problems than it solves.)
First, I was well rested. It was in my 9th hour of sleep. I forgot how important that was, because the longer you sleep, the quicker you drop into deep REM. From Page 50: "According to our research, the probability of your having a lucid dream during these last two hours of sleep is more than twice as great as the probability of your having a lucid dream in the previous six hours."
I was so exhausted last night that I dreamt I was exhausted. (I went to bed at 3 AM, which is like if you went to bed at 8 PM.) I was back at my parents' house in New Hampshire, and we were around the dinner table. I just closed my eyes for a minute, and when I opened them, dinner was over and everyone else was on the couches in the other room.
Then my sister and I got into an argument about Buffy (I know this always comes up with me at the most inappropriate times; I apologize, guys) where I wanted her to watch the DVDs and she thought she didn't need to because she was reading the comics and they were good enough. (In real life, I have tried to get her to watch the show, because she enjoys Alias and Veronica Mars, which to me are clear rip-offs, but I wouldn't ever, you know, yell at her about it.) (Anyway.)
So eventually I woke up for real, and I was like, man that was weird. I've had quite a few false wakings (where you realize you're in a dream, so you wake up, but you're in a second dream, and you don't realize that) but this was something else. I went to sleep in a dream - have I ever done that? - and woke up still in the same dream. It would have to be an exceptionally strong dream around me. (Which I guess means that I was getting better at concentrating?)
So second, I was thinking about my dreams while I went back and had more dreams. This made it a lot easier to pay attention to dreamsigns - the things that would never happen in real life. Everybody has their own list of common themes that they have to compile. So mine is like:
If you're wandering around a high school...
If anything is floating, for any reason...
If you're experiencing a grotesque yet painless deformity of the hand or penis...
...etc., etc., you're probably dreaming.
So then - bear with me here - there was a second, unrelated dream about the military. I think for some of it I was actually in the army and for some of it I was just watching a movie with Barry Pepper... not really crucial. Anyway, at the end of that dream, I was looking out the window of a train and I saw, high up on a cliff, the military encampment. And they had used rocks to spell out words about ten feet tall. And the words were:
And I thought, that's weird, it should say HQ instead of HI. This is their headquarters. But I kept staring at them and the letters didn't change. So that must have meant it wasn't a dream. But then, the words weren't standing up, and they weren't lying down; they were hanging out over the edge of the cliff, so you could only see what was spelled out if you went to the very base of the cliff and looked straight up. Where, of course, the rocks should fall on you.
And I woke up again, and I knew I should write all these dreams down. But I didn't. I went back to sleep, and in the next dream, I kept thinking, ATARI HI. You need to write that down. It's a dream you had. You're supposed to write all these things down. And I was like, why the hell is it so hard to find something to write with here, especially since I'm wandering around a high school.
So then when I did find some paper, I was like, wait this isn't where I'm supposed to be writing this down. I'm supposed to be writing this down in the book... on the table... next to my bed... and where is that? Where am I?
See, there was no "a-ha!" moment. In all the accounts in the book, people always had an "a-ha!" moment where they suddenly knew they were dreaming and that changed everything. Instead, this was a series of nagging doubts that collated gradually, with a tipping point:
So I'm still wandering, because I have to find someone, to convince them to be somewhere or something, you know that terribly important motivation type stuff which now I can't even remember (at least I wasn't late for class, I can't believe I actually have that one all the time, it is such a fucking cliche) and I see some Buffy comics piled by the stairs. And I'm like, wait, those were from the dream. The other dream.
And then here she comes up the stairs, big as life (which is to say, still shorter than me, even). Buffy. And she's flirting with me heavily, leaning on me, stroking my hand, trying to get me to ask her to the prom. And I'm like, Really, subconscious? This? This is who we are? And now it's obviously a dream, not even so much because she's fictional, but because she keeps alluding to these dates we went on which I definitely would have remembered.
But of course I can't tell her she's not real, because I don't exactly want this moment to end. I was essentially speaking into her neck, and I tried to say "You're so sexy and beautiful," but it came out "seky and nexical". She thought that was cute. And I thought, that's a good Xander line, like a Dan Vebber line. I should write that down.
Then again, I couldn't go to the prom with her because I still had the Terribly Important thing to do. And if you're wondering, why, if I know it's a dream, do I not realize that I don't actually have to do anything I don't want to, it's because at this point I still do not have full lucidity. I don't have my entire waking brain with me.
So, me being me, in turning her down I'm insensitive, and she's good at hiding her feelings but she walks away (and I'm like SERIOUSLY, subconscious? With the cheerleader outfit and everything? It's just hilarious to me how shallow I apparently am) and not long after that the dream starts to fade out. So here is the third thing I did.
Thing #3 was pretty much the reason why I bought the book. Because I've never, my entire life, had trouble realizing I'm in a dream when I see something bizarre or incongruous. My problem is, as soon as I realize that, the dream just crumbles and I'm awake. The whole first third of the book was all about the "a-ha!" and I was like yeah yeah, blah blah, WHAT THEN.
So here's what then. You spin.
No one knows why it works, but it does. (And it did!) I didn't have time for a full-body spin, but I thought NO as clearly and loudly as I could and I shook my head furiously. And the room came back into sharp focus for a second, then faded out again to black.
Then I opened my eyes, and just like the previous dream, I was back in it. The room was the same, but I knew it was a fictional room. I was trying hard not to think too much about the fact that it was fictional because that might make it evaporate. I was finally at the point I've been trying to get to for months, and that made me incredibly nervous.
I needed something to focus on doing. Then I remembered I still had to write down that phrase.
But I don't have a pen!
Well, if this is a lucid dream, as soon as you want something, you should be able to get it.
So then I walked by a table and there was a bunch of junk on it, including a pen and a pencil. Nice.
But if I write this down here, I still won't have it when I wake up...
It doesn't matter! Just do something!
So I scrawled SEKY AND NEXICAL up in the corner of the wall. My handwriting was worse than usual but it didn't fade, and it didn't change.
I thought my heart was beating faster, but I checked my pulse and it wasn't. It was just louder.
Then I remembered, this isn't even my real body, this is my dream body. But I wasn't about to deal with that because modifying your dream body is very advanced stuff from the way end of the book. So I just tried to put that out of my mind.
I was very impressed with the texture of the wall. Not just the way it looked but the way it felt. I knew it wasn't real. And yet there it was. I was in a fictional world.
So, getting back to the book, when you first start lucid dreaming, you're not supposed to do anything strenuous. Just basically bask in the wish-fulfillment. Fly, have lots of sex, punch dudes out, whatever. Get comfortable in the lucid state (which is a very tricky place for the brain to be, especially a brain like mine that won't shut up) and just have fun.
Then, much later on, when it's no big deal to achieve lucidity, you can start using it to actually solve what's bothering you. And the way to confront your problems - this gets pretty Jungian (like Luke Skywalker in the cave) - is to literally go down into a dark basement. That's where they will be.
But I was already in a dimly lit basement hallway - that's just where my previous wandering had taken me. I wasn't thinking about any of the above theory, I just wanted to see what would happen if I went around the corner. I did remind myself of a piece of wisdom from the nightmare chapter which was: If you know it's a dream, then you know nothing in it can hurt you.
So I went around the corner.
And there was a laundry room, and a girl from high school I haven't even thought about since the reunion (who was also a cheerleader) and she said, "I just want to know why you think I'm a Muppet."
She was really pissed at me. And I was like "Uh... what? What do you mean." It's another thing from the book that you have to be really friendly with your antagonists. I don't think I was as friendly as possible because I was too confused.
Then she changed into someone else (a stranger, or as I abbreviate it in my journal, an NPC) and she pulled a big blue furry thing out of the dryer and held it up against herself and said, "Look. This is like... Grover." Then she changed into a third person.
And there were so many things about that that didn't make sense I woke up. I mean, I guess the second remark did explain the first, but as to my own alleged involvement... I don't know, man. TOO WEIRD.
Maybe it just means I'm supposed to call and get the washing machine fixed? I do keep forgetting to do that. Sorry, guys.
But anyway, it's a fun thing to do and I recommend getting into it. It's basically a safe, legal and free way to trip.
Dude, I rolled an undead priest on Azul-Noreb or whatever the server you're on is called. She's only level 20 and impossibly broke, and I'm in that incredibly frustrating period where it's a pitched frenzied battle to kill anything one level above me (OMG priest armor SUCKS and they don't even give you Inner Fire until LEVEL 12), but within a few months I should be a level where I can actually party with people! :D
Her name is Kullulu, which is an Assyrian word meaning "cursed" (I tried for "Tristitia" but it was taken).
What's your character's name? I know you're like level bazillion and all but if you get bored maybe you could help me run her up to 20 or so, you know - so I can actually kill things and afford decent armor. ^^
Let me know! Now I'm gonna read your actual post.
Sorry - not level 20, level TEN. As of tonight.
My main is a priest on Silvermoon. She's level 32.
DUED so sorry I didn't get back to you.
Perhaps we are too late for Recruit-A-Friend. I'll ask cz. We'll get you in the guild either way.
We actually have a 29 that you can run with. Any one of us can run you through an instance and get you some fast XP.
I can't give you good priest advice; I only know shaman and druid. I do know though that it's way faster to level Shadow, like hazen says.
Having seen all of Alias but not much of Buffy, how is Alias a rip-off of Buffy?
I was perhaps being harsh with the term rip-off, but it's a clear descendant.
Hot chick has secret identity wherein she kicks bad guys, but still makes a mess of her romantic life.
Sounds like the Lynda Carter version of Wonder Woman.
Interesting. You're not wrong about the superhero linkage. But the romantic element is handled differently.
From the Wikipedia article (which I have to resort to, because I've never watched the show):
"Although Carter and Waggoner had good chemistry, it was decided to play down the romantic aspects found in the comic, and, ultimately, the characters remained simply good friends. Executive producer Douglas S. Cramer noted the difficulties inherent in maintaining long-term romantic tension between leads, with the resolution of that tension often resulting in the cancellation of the series."
The Sam and Diane problem - typical of the 80s. After Twin Peaks was a smash success, it was easier to get prime-time dramas on the air that took more of a soap opera approach. Relationships did consummate and they did end.
To be fair to Alias, Syd didn't really make a mess of her romantic life - it was made a mess for her. Her fiance was assassinated in the pilot, and there was little romance in the first season. Then things progressed with Vaughn, until she disappeared for two years and he married someone else because they all thought she was dead. It didn't work so well after that, until Vaughn's wife was assassinated, after which it worked well again.
And Buffy didn't deliberately turn Angel evil, nor did she force Riley to leave. But epic love life disasters happen, is my point. They're as much a focus of the show, if not more so, than the action. That blend is where the parallels I see are.
To be frank, I had to stop watching that show after Season 1 because Sydney was so stupid she drove me crazy.
OK cool. I just wanted the perspective.
Man, that is super interesting. I'm going to see if they have that book or similar at my library, next time I'm there.
I think it's pretty strange that you could even read and write in your dream. A common element in my dreams is that words are always blurry and unreadable. I've heard that's fairly common.
Yeah, precisely. It's usually that way for me too, and it tends to be the most common thing that kicks me out of the dream.
That's why I was so surprised and impressed that I could MAKE the letters stay still.
The lucid dream book I have says that trying to read things will often bump you from the dream state, but it is also a good indication that you are in a dream if you try to read something and the letters keep changing.
|Date:||January 6th, 2009 04:07 pm (UTC)|| |
Yay! GO YOU! :)
I have that problem, in my dreams, where my mind always reminds me that I'm married. It's incredibly annoying, especially when I'm dreaming that I'm 16 or something and some guy wants to make out with me.
Also, have I ever told you about my technique for falling asleep? I can pretty much put myself to sleep, which Will is incredibly annoyed/jealous about.
Putting myself to sleep has always been difficult. I've only gotten good at it recently, and inconsistently. Basically I just force myself to stop thinking words. This is very hard. But once i do it, then my mind is just this black formless timeless mess, and then images come in to fill the void. (This is called the hypnagogic state.) What's your technique like?
Being able to remember your real life as your dreaming something else is good, as long as it doesn't automatically kick you out of the dream. It's healthy to always be skeptical. And after all, that shouldn't stop you from indulging anyway. DREAM CHEATING TOTALLY DOESN'T COUNT. (Sorry, Will.)
|Date:||January 22nd, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)|| |
Disney Cars Pixar
I' m currently blogging for the sake of a (poor) living to someone else... but I like it. You' ve inspired me to look after doing it, and look to doing it for myself soon